Sexuality is about many things. It is about the way we see ourselves as a man or woman. It is about who we find attractive, about love and relationships. It is about having sex, our sexual organs, contraception and babies. Sexuality is an important area of life. Sexual problems are common after traumatic brain injury and so it is important to have information about this.
Sexuality is an area of our lives that is not always talked about. Some people feel too embarrassed to talk with staff about a sexual issue. Sometimes staff do not provide information about sexual problems that may occur after a traumatic brain injury. People with disabilities have sexual feelings and needs. They have the same right as anyone else to enjoy their sexuality.
The most severe injuries more likely to cause sexual problems: It is most likely that problems will occur when the brain injury is extremely severe.
At least half of people will not experience changes to their sexuality after a traumatic brain injury. The following two stories illustrate some of the sexual issues people may face.
Robert had a brain injury in a car accident. As a result, he had cognitive problems, limited movement in his arms and poor balance. He and his wife had sex on only two occasions after he returned home from rehabilitation. The first time she asked him to stop because she had come but he hadn't. Robert thought that because it had been so long since he had sex, his body wasn't ready for it. They tried again a number of weeks later and the same thing happened. Soon afterwards she moved into another bedroom. Eventually she separated from him altogether.
Some time later, Robert met a new lady. As their relationship grew they decided they wanted to have sex. Robert was very anxious about this. Because of his injuries, he could only have sex lying on his back with his girlfriend on top. He also had difficulty obtaining an erection and was unable to thrust upwards. As a result, he had not been coming when having sex, making him feel like a 'let-down'. His girlfriend tried to encourage him but this had the opposite effect and made him go limp. As a result, he felt less like having sex.
More recently, Robert and his girlfriend have married. They enjoy their sexual relationship but Robert still finds that sex is not the same as it used to be before his injury.
Lisa was in her early twenties and had two significant relationships before her accident. One relationship included a satisfying sexual dimension. Since the brain injury, she has had two short term relationships. She felt the first relationship became too one-sided. Everything had to be her boyfriend's way. They had no common interests or hobbies. As a result, having sex became something Lisa did just to keep him happy every time they met. When Lisa tried to talk about these problems he suddenly ended the relationship. The second relationship lasted only a few weeks. Lisa ended it when she found out that Mark had another girlfriend. Lisa became afraid that he was only after her compensation money.
Since the injury, Lisa has found it hard to meet guys, and feels she has no confidence. She goes through times when she feels stuck in the same groove and that she will die single. Her friends from before the injury have all got married. She has recently started to attend TAFE and has met a new man whom she is attracted to. She is hoping to get to know him.
Our brains - the ultimate sex organ! We usually regard the penis and vagina as our
sexual organs, but the brain is also a sexual organ, as the following authors make clear:
“It has been said that the brain is the ultimate sexual organ: the seat of sexual urges, thoughts, sensations, inhibitions and behaviours.”
“A person becomes sexually aroused because messages from a "sex-centre" in the brain pass along the spinal cord to the nerves which control the genital organs.”
If our sexual organs are not working it is easy to focus on them and wonder, 'What is wrong with my penis?' or 'What is wrong with my vagina?'. 'Were they injured in the accident?' However, if our sex organs are not working, one reason may be the brain injury. If the area in the brain that causes us to be sexually aroused is damaged, then we may no longer feel interested in sex.
Other possible causes for sexual changes apart from the brain injury
Other medical conditions
Medical conditions (e.g. high blood pressure or diabetes) may affect a person's sexuality.
Last modified: Thursday, 20 April 2006