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Toddler Behaviour in PDF format
	Toddler Behaviour

Toddler Behaviour:

For ease of reading the female gender has been used throughout this article.

This article provides a brief guide to toddler behaviour. For further information and assistance please contact your Early Childhood Nurse, General Practitioner or Karitane Careline on (02) 9794 1852 or 1800 677 961 outside the Sydney metropolitan area.

The toddler years are commonly characterised by the phrase ‘Terrible Two’s’ or ‘Terrific Two’s’ perhaps depending upon the type of day you have had with one. They are ever inquisitive and ingenious and can be co-operative or contrary at a whim. These contrasts in behaviour are a normal part of development even at the age of three, but one which can cause parents a great deal of heartache. As the toddler strives for independence she is testing her limits and capabilities and is finding out how exciting the world is and how everything works.

A common response to questions to toddlers is ‘No!’ The impression is that they do not want to co-operate with anyone about anything. Be re-assured this is normal and part of the child learning about life eg. negotiating, discipline, safety and rules of behaviour. How we as parents and carers respond to toddlers may have a major impact on how they progress through life

The following information will include tips on how to manage toddlers, tantrums and tantrum management.

Things to remember about toddlers

• they do not have the ability to foresee the results of their actions
  
• moods may change rapidly
  
• they want to try and test everything
• their attention span is short
  

Tips on how to manage toddlers

There has always been much debate about what the best method is to guide your toddler and if necessary discipline them. Following are some suggestions for managing challenging behaviours.

• Praise your toddler when she co-operates or behaves well
  
• Toddler proof your house, that is put everything you do not want your toddler to handle or that is breakable out of reach or away in a cupboard
  
• Try to avoid saying ‘No’ to everything she tries to explore by diverting her route or distracting her with something that she will find interesting
  
• Give your toddler a sense of independence by allowing her choices of 2-3 options, for example ‘Would you like to wear the red dress or the blue dress ?’
  
• Plan to ignore little misbehaviours providing no harm will come to your toddler – she may just need the space to work things out herself
  
• Deal with misbehaviour immediately rather than threaten ‘Wait till your father comes home’. Once it has been dealt with do not keep referring to it
  
• Try to be positive with your advice to toddlers, for example instead of saying ‘Don’t pull the dog’s hair’ try ‘The dog would like it if you patted him like this’ and demonstrate
  
• If a toddler flatly refuses to co-operate it may be best to remove her from the situation
  
• If there is immediate danger in what the toddler is doing, for example pulling an electrical cord, deal with this and worry about explanations once the danger has passed
• Remember hitting or smacking children teaches them that physical aggression is acceptable
  

TANTRUMS:

A tantrum is a child’s way of expressing and coping with feelings they can not control. Toddlers have tantrums for many different reasons, for example anger, frustration, jealousy, tiredness, inability to communicate or feeling insecure. When a toddler is having a tantrum as well as the having to deal with the original reason that triggered the tantrum your child now also has to cope with the fear or humiliation they feel when they are out of control.

TANTRUM MANAGEMENT:

Using some of the strategies listed above will help to avert many potential areas of conflict between you and your toddler.
Some other suggestions are: -

• Try to recognise the triggers for your toddlers tantrums and step in before a major issue develops – this may involve keeping a diary over a period of a few days
  
• If you have said ‘No’ to your toddler, give her a reason, acknowledge her feelings and then distract her by giving her something else to do
  
• If you are going shopping plan ahead and if possible leave your child with someone else. If your toddler must come shopping with you here are some suggestions that may help make the outing run smoothly:
  - ensure that your toddler is not tired or sick before you venture out
  - feed your toddler before you go out
  - take some healthy snacks and a drink with you eg. sultanas and tetra pack juices
  - where possible let your toddler help by getting items from the shelves
  - try to have a routine with the shopping trip and finish off with a small treat for everyone – this gives your toddler something to look forward to



• If a tantrum does escalate at the shops try to take your child somewhere quiet until she has regained her control. Once she has calmed down talk to her about her feelings
  
• Some experts suggest holding your child while she is having the tantrum – this both helps to contain her so that she will not injure herself and make her feel secure in the knowledge that you are there to help her manage her feelings (be careful to face your child away from you if she has a tendency to kick). If you are unable to hold your child you may choose to let the tantrum run its course as long as your child is not in any danger of hurting herself or others
  
• It is important not to give in to whatever your child was wanting that started the tantrum

If possible once the tantrum is over try to do something relaxing with your toddler, for example go for a walk in the park, listen to some soothing music together or read a story.

If you have difficulty with your toddler or at any other time you require help please consult your Early Childhood Nurse, General Practitioner or Karitane Careline on (02) 9794 1852 Tollfree 1800 677 961.

References, further reading and viewing

Brazelton, T.B. (1996). Touchpoints, Doubleday Books, Moorebank.

Mellor, K. & Mellor, E. (2001). Parentcraft – a practical guide to raising children well, Finch Publishing, Sydney.

Toddlers Emotional Development (Video) (1994) Magna Systems, USA.

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Last modified: Tuesday, 17 June 2003